Whenever I go over to Justin and Tiffany’s house, before long their two girls (ages four and two) are climbing all over me. Now, I really don’t mind this — true, anything can get to be annoying after awhile (especially when you’re trying to eat something like, say, fried rice and the kids keep poking their heads over the top of the container asking “What’s in there, Eric?” even though they already know what’s in there because you’ve told them about 50 times, going so far as to point out each constituent ingredient — not to mention that only minutes earlier the two-year-old had launched an unbelievably large glob of mucus onto your hand and it’s entirely within the realm of possibility that she’ll engage a repeat launch before long), but I find little kids almost endlessly amusing.

But, also before long, Justin and Tiffany are ordering the kids to “quit bothering Eric.” I can’t object to this, even when the kids aren’t really annoying me — because as good parents Justin and Tiffany are trying to teach their girls good manners. And, presumably, a good rule of social conduct is that you don’t climb onto your houseguests and jump off, then climb onto them again, and jump off, then climb onto them again, and slide down, and climb onto them again . . . But even though I don’t contradict the parents’ attempts to enforce a minimum standard of behavioral conduct, I also don’t object when, 20 seconds later, the girls have returned to “bother” me some more.

The funniest parts of all this are the excuses that the four-year-old comes up with — the reasons that she’s sure give her valid license to ignore her parents. Picture this scene:

INT. JUSTIN'S HOUSE - EVENING

A strikingly large (though not tall), bespectacled, facially (though not cranially) hirsute man sits in a chair. This is ERIC. Standing on his leg is JORDAN, JUSTIN's four-year-old daughter. JORDAN spends several seconds clambering across to ERIC's other leg before leaping to the floor. She climbs back up onto his leg and repeats the process several times. She seems to enjoy this more and more each time, leading to an increased level of audible commotion (such as "Wheee!" while jumping).

JUSTIN notices the increased commotion.

JUSTIN
Jordan, get down and come here.

JORDAN
But I'm climbing on Eric!

You can’t fault that kind of logic.