There’s not much that can be said here that hasn’t already been said. Evelyn Mastroianni certainly deserves to have her name linked to this in perpetuity. I am often gobsmacked at how utterly evil some adults can be. That’s a good word for Principal Mastroianni…evil. “Bully” and “Coward” don’t quite sum it up nicely enough. If you doubt it, consider the following:

“They made me sign a statement,” the tear-stained fourth-grader said. “She told me to write that I had a gun,” he said. “She said, ‘A gun is a gun’.”

Keep in mind, this child is 9 years old.

I think we can all agree that it is axiomatic that a Lego gun is not, in fact, a real gun. In this case, A is not A. That such a priori knowledge is not evident to a principal (all of whom have Doctorate degrees, if I’m not mistaken), is a perfect example of why we should not mistake education for intelligence or wisdom.

Principal Mastroianni has apologized to the boy, only after the news broke nationally. There is no indication she has lost her job, however. More’s the pity. One can hope that this experience will temper any further idiocy in the future. I’m not hopeful. It is my experience that such evil is not so easily assuaged.

There are other times, however, when my camera feels no more than a brick in my hand. I have no connection to it. No matter what I do to get that shot, the camera will not cooperate.

This has a great deal to do with my personality. I’m much more comfortable in solitary situations than being surrounded by people. When I attempt to immerse myself in those kinds of situations, I find myself completely off center. The concept of taking pictures of perfect strangers (candid or not) is absolutly foreign to me. I envy those who are able/willing to pull that off.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been able to get some pretty good pictures in those situations, but even so, I don’t feel that same special connection to my camera as I would photographing an abandoned barn or a solitary trail in the woods, etc… When doing so, I’m able to take in all of my surroundings. I’m able to hear what is going on around me, breath in the air, feel the soil beneath my feet. I’m able to relax. It is then that my camera and I meld.

I don’t know what’s to be done. I often find myself in chaotic, loud situations, surrounded by chaotic, loud people. The introvert in me can always act the extroverted part, but it becomes much more complicated when one has a camera in one’s hands. The dichotomy becomes ever more strident. The camera either serves to connect you more with people OR to cut yourself off from them. Want to hold a psychological experiment? Put a camera in an introvert’s hands in a room full of people and see what happens. I’m telling you, it could go either way.

Anyway, back to the original point of this post. I don’t like feeling disconnected from my camera. It almost feels like a betrayal. (I know, I know…a bit hyperbolic). This almost leads me to believe that perhaps it’s a good idea to just occasionally leave the camera behind.

I know the camera won’t mind, but I have doubts about myself…

I’m certainly over thirty years old, but I’m no poet. Though, occasionally I’ll jot something down.

I wrote this one several years ago and it’s still my favorite:

Stepping out on the threshold
The jostling of bodies
The whiff of cigarette smoke
The constant negotiations of con artists and whores
Beverly loves the night life

Wandering aimlessly, hardly caring about the destination
Catching a reflection in the Victrola store window
Cheap, sensible shoes
Pleated skirt
Eggshell blouse, a touch of rouge

She pretends to be thrown up against dark buildings
Hair mussed up, blouse ruffled
She speaks coyly to the man next to her
Brushes his hand off her shoulder
Walks away clicking her heels

Flapper girls dancing the Lindy
Gold coins a jinglin’
Pushing and pulling

In her bedroom she lies supine, almost satisfied
She quietly invites him to leave
Sighing, she falls into slumber, a vacant look crosses her face
Beverly loves the night life

Meh, it’s not Wadsworth, but it will do.

One of the most oft’ imitated poems is William Carlos Williams’, “This is Just to Say”:

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Go to Google and type in “This is Just to Say Parody”, and you’ll see what I mean about imitation being the sincerest form of flattery.

I guess I’ll add to the corpus:

This is Just to Say (for William Carlos Williams)

I tried to listen
to the poem
you wrote
just for me

and really,
your intonation
was beautifully
melodic

Forgive me
it’s the ADD
look!
there’s a squirrel!

Eat your heart out, Charles Bukowski!

Some might call this a form of agoraphobia, but I’d disagree. I have absolutely no problem with public places, whether they be wide open or not. Neither do I feel claustrophobic or have any anxiety in crowds. It’s difficult to explain. I just feel, well…disjointed, somehow.

While up in Chicago this weekend attending the Camper Van Beethoven/Cracker concert, this feeling came over me very suddenly. For some reason, while standing in the crowd, I just could not figure out what to do with my hands. Do I put them in my pocket? Cross my arms in front of me? Raise them up in the air? Put them behind my back in the position of a modified Parade Rest?

It did not help that the extremely cute girl next to me was dancing lithely, without affectations. She even hip-checked me a few times with a sly, knowing smile. And there I stood, unable to figure out what to do with my hands. The space around me multiplied exponentially until, in a crowd of hundreds, I was alone. At one point, I became so flustered with the odd situation that I actually (God help me) put my hands up in the air and made the “devil horns” sign with my hands while yelling, “Woooooooooooooooooooooo!”.

When the concert was over, the cute girl next to me slid up, put her arm around my waist and half yelled in my ear, “Thanks for hanging out with me! I had a great time! I gotta go home, now!”

And then she was gone.

And I was left there. With my stupid hands. Which I happily put into my pockets, while walking towards the coat check room…smiling all the way.

Alone.

I mean, I have to figure out all this stuff by myself.

Which brings me to a dilemma. Yesterday, while watching the show Man Vs. Wild with the girls, I realized exactly what I did not like about the show (not the genre of show, which I love, but that specific program).

The whole thing is staged.

Unlike some other shows of the same sort, Bear Grylls is never in any real danger. He has a full camera crew stalking him at all times. This is illustrated by the oh, so cleaver ways the editing team makes sure you realize this from show to show (the camera man’s shadow, Bear talking off screen, etc…). This is done (post-edit) so you have a hint that even though there’s all this drama, there’s no real danger. So yeah, when he’s scaling that canyon wall, there’s a guy with a camera right next to him shooting the footage. Which leads me to ask, no matter how dangerous Bear makes his plight out to be, (with dramatic music effects and that heightened, slightly stressed out voice of his) I’m always thinking to myself…”Dude! There’s a guy(s) right next to you filming the whole thing, doing the same things you are..with a camera rig in their hands! How freaking hard can that be?”.

I don’t know if this is fair or not. But, really, it all just points back to my dislike of “staged scenes”. Even in photography, I try to avoid this. I’d rather catch something in its natural state rather than position something to make it look appealing. I’ve seen plenty of breath-taking photographs that, in the end, I’ve devalued simply because they were “staged”. I don’t know what this says about me. I don’t know if this is a simple preference or something much deeper. But, it does present a problem.

There are a couple of scenes I want to film during this upcoming journey of mine that, unfortunately, will require some amount of staging. These will be poignant, slightly emotional vignettes. The only way I can capture these scenes if to set up the camera and “stage the scene”. Something that is meant to be an impromptu moment will actually be planned out. Those heart-felt words or actions will have been thought over for months ahead of time.

That seems like cheating to me. But, pursuing other solo documentaries, I see that this technique is done all the time.

I wonder how they come to terms with it.

The Diana loves the little things. It loves breakfast, your dog, your boyfriend or girlfriend, that crazy hat in the window, the unbelievable morning traffic, those gummed up salt shakers, a blazing afternoon sun, your nose when it’s all close-up an blurry, the shoes that you didn’t buy, and your hamburger-champion uncle. It’s lightweight body feels good next to yours, and it doesn’t bog you down with a lot of weight…

I got one of these beauties about a month ago, but haven’t tried it out, yet. I can’t wait.

In the meantime, there’s always the Diana Gallary. ]]> http://www.shrubbloggers.com/2010/01/03/lomography/feed/ 1 http://www.shrubbloggers.com/2010/01/03/what-did-you-do-today/ http://www.shrubbloggers.com/2010/01/03/what-did-you-do-today/#comments Sun, 03 Jan 2010 17:45:23 +0000 Justin M. Stoddard http://www.shrubbloggers.com/?p=1755 I’ve had this blog since 2003 and have never really thought of it as any more than an outlet for what I may be thinking/feeling at the moment. As I am wont to do, I have engaged in a few abortive attempts at something larger throughout the years (blogging the bible, one photo a day, 1001 Journals project, etc…). I don’t regret that. I often shoot for something and end up wide instead of deep, meaning I gain just enough experience from something to sate me…then I move on. I’ve been this way for as long as I remember and I don’t regret it. My ability to shift focus rapidly has served me well over the years, though it’s been a source of great frustration and amusement for those close to me.

The above, of course, is a symptom of ADD; something I’ve lived with all my life. When I was younger, the condition completely ruled me. A child psychologist once recommended that I be put on Ritalin (something my mother disregarded, thank God) and when in class, a screen be put around me so I would not be distracted by the other children. I repeated the 2nd grade. It seems I had “great potential” but just couldn’t sit still long enough to get through the lessons. I was always the odd one out…the one the other kids beat for sport. That all changed by the time I was 14 or so. I learned to fight back. I learned to use wit and intuition to be likable. Later, I learned to relax and just kind of be myself…a confidence born from bloodied knuckles and a knack for comedy. In those years I made some of the best friends of my life. Friends I still talk with on a weekly basis.

But, nothing has ever cured me of paying attention to things that bore me. And, brother (sister), school bored me. I graduated high school with the lowest GPA possible. I’m still proud of that fact. It was the same with college. I really did try my hardest. I did. But, in the end, it bored me. I realized later that I simply cannot abide being told what I should and should not learn. If something does not interest me, it’s not worth my time. That’s just simply the essence of me.

This is how my mind works. I once saw the line, “Hell is other people”, while reading a newspaper one day. Sure, most anyone educated in the Liberal Arts should understand this reference right off. I, however, did not, but it spoke to the introvert in me. So, being intrigued, I searched the net. I then went out and bought three books by Jean-Paul Sarte and read them all. A week later something else caught my attention. And, so it goes. Like I said, my vision is miles wide.

But, sometimes it’s deep as well. In spite of all this hopping about from one subject to another, I have had some constants in my life. The over-arching constant is a passion for learning. The specific things I focus on more than others are: art, photography, literature, science, languages and traveling. One can see that by looking back on this blog over the past several years. I imagine I’ll be following these pursuits for the rest of my life.

Which kind of brings me back to the beginning of this post. As I said, I never really thought of this blog as anything more than a “snapshot in time”. “Hey! This is what I’m thinking right now!”. But, I’m starting to realize that it can be so much more. It can be used as a tool to help strengthen my focus on those things above that I love so.

There are several projects bouncing around in my head at the moment and I don’t want them to bounce away…they really are great ideas. So, I think I’ll start using this space to document what I’m working on. Perhaps this will keep me on track to completion. Perhaps it will allow others to provide encouragement.

Perhaps.

When dusk starts to encroach, the eyelids get heavy and the labors of the day are behind….when I inevitably ask myself, “What did you do today”.

I don’t ever want the answer to be, “Not much”.

 
-Jam Master J wants to know — “What Did You Do Today?”

For those of you not on Facebook…I’m home! And none to soon as a winter storm came in last night while I was sleeping.

I’ll write more later. For now, I have to figure out how to go get some food. :)

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Greetings, all!
Well, tonight is my last night in Kabul. I’m catching a flight out of here tomorrow. The next challenge is to get from here to Qatar, which could take a couple of days. Once I’m in Qatar, I’ll be looking at changing my flight so I can get to the states a little earlier than I expected. Christmas, anyone?

So, I spent the past two days saying my good-byes and getting everything in order here. I’ve made a ton of new friends here…and I’m very sad to be leaving them. I am, however, excited to be coming home to my old friends (and some new ones).

Thank you everyone for making my deployment that much easier by staying in touch and giving me well-wishes when they were needed.

I can’t wait to see and talk to you all when I get back.

Merry Christmas!!

And, to that little red-headed girl…write me back! :P

Just so everyone knows, I’m fine. There was an explosion this morning about 1/2 a kilometer away from where I’m stationed. The news is sketchy right now and we’re still waiting for info. I’m fine, though I’d rather not have these sorts of events happen so close to me leving country. Well, I’d rather not have these sorts of events happen at all, but you get my drift…

I know I said I’d probably be writing less now that I’m so close to leaving country, but I have found myself with a bit of free time and some ideas on my mind.

First, I’m not sure if you are all aware, but all of these letters have been put on my blog: www.shrubbloggers.com. Eric took the initiative to do this, as I could not get the blogging interface to work from here. So, you’re always free to go back and read about this whole journey from the beginning.

Speaking of blogging, I think I’ll be paying much more attention to it once I get home. There are about a dozen projects I have in the back of my head that I’d like to see come to fruition…and blogging about them seems like a good idea.

I’ve been pre-approved for a mortgage, so house-hunting will be in my immediate schedule the first few months home. Ideally, I’d like to get a place that’s in the same general location but is out of the control of a neighborhood association. I’ll cut my grass when I damn well want to, thank you very much. My ideal house will have a full basement in which to build an ad-hoc, DIY digital/music studio. Nothing fancy, just a nice quiet corner where I can start working on all the things I want to work on.

Eric and I have been talking a great deal lately of starting to play music again. I have no idea where this will lead, though I have my ideas. As eclectic and varied as our musical tastes are, this should be a lot of fun. In that vein, I’ll be buying a tuba within the next couple of months. Most of you know that I played the tuba for a few years in high school, but I’ve always suspected that that instrument can do much more than any lay person may guess. I don’t know what to tell you what to expect…I can only advise that everyone “stay tuned”. Whatever happens, it’s gonna be a lot of fun.

I have several ideas for documentary photo/audio work, but my thoughts have also been branching out to film. More to follow on this, as well. I’ve been talking to Eric about this on and off over the past few months…perhaps he can post something on his side of the blog explaining his thoughts.

It’s nice to finally get out of the “dreaming” phase and to actually start work on something you’ve thought about for years. Oh, I’ll keep my day job, but I look forward to adding lines of definitions to myself via these projects.

So, anyway…8 days to go until I fly out of Kabul!

So, if I go by my calender, I have 12 days left until I leave Kabul. Depending on how long it takes to get a flight out of Afghanistan, I may or may not be home in time for Christmas. Only time will tell.

This will probably be my last long email to everyone before I leave as I expect I’ll be farily busy preparing for my replacement and getting all packed up. I just wanted to write down some thoughts I’ve been having.

• The Day Care project we undertook here was successful beyond what I could have imagined. So far, we’ve received well over 50 boxes of supplies ranging from pens and pencils to winter hats and gloves to clothes to cool toys. To date, we’ve delivered about half of those supplies. We are planning on another run down next week. We have also received about $1,500. This was completely unexpected to me. At best I thought we would be able to get MAYBE $100 for various supplies. Though I won’t be here to see what that money is used for, I suspect we can now seriously start thinking about rebuilding the classroom that was mortared several years ago. At the very least, we can get their building repainted and work on some basic repairs.
  
  I know I’ve said it before, but thank you to everyone who took time out of their lives to help out. I’ve always believed in a a sort of “cosmic” underlying benevolence (those that really know me, know how silly that sounds coming from me, but there’s no real good way of putting that thought into words in such a medium) and you have all validated that belief. Since I’m leaving soon, I’ll be passing everything over to my friend, Scott Poole. He will be here until March. I will also be asking my replacement if he would like to take up the cause when I leave. Again, thank you. I hope that I’ll be able to see each of you in person soon to pass on my gratitude.
• There are a couple of projects I want to work on when I get back home. Some of you know that I’ve spent the past four months purchasing equipment needed to do photography/film/audio documentary work. I’ve had a fascination with my family (both sides) for some time, now. I’ve always warned my mom that someday I was going to write a book about my family. I think she has always been amused and slightly horrified at that prospect. I don’t believe I have the talent needed to write any sort of book, but I do seem to have a knack and a passion for documentation (through photographs, video and audio). Over the next couple of years, I’d like to travel around the states and get an oral history of my family…but that’s only half of what I want to do. While out and about, I think it would be fun to be the modern day John Steinbeck and just experience America. I couldn’t verbalize what I have in mind, but it’s all in the back of my head…swirling.
• (Those of you who are uncomfortable with personal stuff may stop reading now, but you are all friends and family…so I don’t think you’ll have a problem with this). It’s time for me to find my partner in crime, so to speak. I recently watched a video from the Rev. Tom Honey (a Vicar in the Church of England). In it, he was discussing the “nature of God”. He had some rather surprising things to say and I would encourage anyone to watch the clip, as it was rather moving to me (an avowed Agnostic/sometimes Atheist).
  
  In it, he said (and I’m paraphrasing here), in order to know the nature of God, we must cultivate our own inwardness, through quiet meditation and gently setting aside our passing thoughts. This, of course, speaks to the introvert inside of me. I’ve spent years “cultivating my own inwardness”. What he said next was profound to me…though not overly profound as an overall thought. Once we have cultivated our own inwardness, once we have recognized the God inside of ourselves, we must move out into the world and establish intimate connections with others. We must allow our inwardness to touch the inwardness of others. We must allow the God inside ourselves to touch the God inside others.
  
  Of course, I don’t do this thought justice. Rev. Honey explains it much better than I. And, I know to many of you, this probably sounds like metaphysical claptrap. Perhaps. But, I find it an utterly beautiful thought. There is an Indian (the sub Continent) custom where two newlyweds will look at each other for hours (days) to attempt to recognize the God within them, therefore recognizing the God within themselves. I believe this transcends what we know about our own trifecta in the field of psychology (the sex drive, romantic love and long-term attachment).
  
  So, where was I before I went off on what seems like a “self help” lecture? :P Oh, yes…a partner in crime. One wonders….one wonders…
• There’s a good chance that I may be coming back here for a few weeks next year to conduct more training. But, I think this will be my last deployment for a long while. Though I had a wonderful time over here, I just hate to be away from my daughters for such a long period of time. But, we are going to have a good time getting to know each other again when I get back.

So, that’s it for now. With any luck, I’ll be back in the states in two weeks time. It’s going to be great getting back into a regular routine…warm showers, a variety of food, supermarkets, etc…

Have a wonderful day! As always, I love getting emails from all of you.

Talk to you soon!

The second time, an experimental stab at Atkins, is partly chronicled in three blog entries from 2004, a series continued in both concept and number by this very post. I didn’t have the tools to measure my progress accurately at the time, but I think I lost about 60 pounds in four months, then took a break while visiting home on vacation, used the short-term break as an excuse to take a longer break and cram in some of my favorite foods as long as I was temporarily off the wagon, and didn’t start back up again.

The third time is currently ongoing. I’d been contemplating another diet for a while until last fall, when I stayed with my pals James and Rachel during a work-related trip to D.C. I discovered that James had been adhering to the paleo diet, which is low-carb and similar in some ways to Atkins. I’d read about it before, and it always made evolutionary sense to me. But truth is often counterintuitive, so I checked out the research. I’d read pretty much every criticism of low-carb diets I could find before I started Atkins back in the day, although I was ultimately swayed in favor of at least trying out the approach by Jim Henley’s blog.

James sent me links to a lecture and book by Gary Taubes, who I’d read back in 2004 but had kept collating research in the interim. His 2008 book is an amazing survey of how nutritional data has been systematically massaged for decades in ways that are entirely incompatible with the scientific method. From Overcoming Bias:

For several decades, it has been the conventional wisdom that dietary fat (and especially saturated fat) contributes to obesity, heart disease, and cancer. Judging from Taubes’ exhaustive research — indeed, I’d be surprised if any other book examined bias within a particular scientific field in such detail — the conventional wisdom was based on unreliable and slender evidence that, once established and institutionalized in government funding, set a pattern of confirmation bias by which further research was judged (or ignored).

It’s a great read, and I find it convincing. Of course, the theory also fits perfectly with my own anecdotal experience — so that helps. When I started Atkins for the second time in February 2009, I realized that I’d forgotten how great it felt the first time. No more low-blood-sugar crashes or moments of panicky hunger. Increased energy, deeper sleep. My occasional acid reflux vanished. And as the weight dropped, everything became easier — less mass that needs to be serviced by oxygenated blood flow, less effort required to move the mass that remains.

I think the primary reason I ultimately failed to stick to the diet in 2004 was that I never fully committed. I viewed it as more or less a neat metabolic trick to lose weight without much physical effort, and I always planned to go back to eating all my favorite foods once I’d lost weight — but keep it off with exercise rather than with what I still regarded as a fad diet. Now that I’m convinced by the science, though, it’s no longer even really a diet to me. This is not a temporary change of behavior; there’s no going back. It’s just a healthier way to eat, and that won’t change if I manage to once again reach my long-lost skinny days. The term “lifestyle change” gets thrown around a lot in nutritional literature, and in my case it’s true — that’s what it takes. No breaks for vacation, no falling off the wagon to succumb to a momentary indulgence. It’s a complete shift in outlook.

I’ve found that it’s pretty easy to give something up once I’ve psychologically committed to the decision. Giving up starchy/sugary food for my diet entailed a shift in the way I view food. I see a heaping bowl of mashed potatoes or a plate of cookies, for instance, and no longer regard them as edible. They hold so little power of temptation anymore that they may as well be made out of plastic. Similarly, ruling out the possibility of dating more than a decade ago also turned out to be surprisingly easy. I mean, self-acceptance is one thing, but I labor under no illusions that women are dying to have bald fat dudes crushing on them — in either sense of the term. Not that you can really help developing a crush on somebody, but you can resign yourself to the fact that it’s hopeless and leave it at that; the idea is off the table.

I’m reminded of when the sitcom “King of Queens” came up as the subject of a trivia question not too long ago. A friend pointed out that she thought the show’s basic premise was not believable. Ain’t that the truth. It’s simply a fact of life that I’ve long been resigned to. Way back before the turn of the 21st century, my mind raced through a bajillion losing scenarios like a 1980s Department of Defense supercomputer before concluding that “the only winning move is not to play.” And, after such a point of psychological commitment, other doors open; other opportunity sets arise (although, granted, not necessarily better ones). A “Seinfeld” plot framed this in a cruder but much funnier way — although I’m not sure I’ve been more productive than I otherwise might have been, a la George Costanza, because my OCD tendencies can make even largely unproductive activities seem to carry a veneer of accomplishment when I fall into a rhythm of doing them exhaustively.

Path dependence is an ongoing marginal process. It’s easy to maintain the status quo for another day, week, month, etc., while telling yourself that substantial change is just around the corner. But making that change takes effort, an investment in a new set of sunk costs that require time in order to develop into a new, more rewarding future path. The small immediate payoffs that come from minimal effort can be an attractive alternative to a larger distant payoff that comes only after the difficult initial steps of change. Even though an expanded time preference is one of the hallmarks of success throughout life, it took me this long to consistently forgo the marshmallow of immediate gustatory gratification.

But, again, once actual psychological commitment takes hold, the new path becomes easy to sustain in much the same way as the old one: inertia works in either case. I never intended my absence from the world of relationships to last so long, but I kept telling myself that I’d change next month, next year . . . and that sort of extended procrastination adds up. At times, now that I’ve ventured this far down a new path away from the darkness of self-imposed exile, I catch a glipse of a light at the end of the tunnel — but it’s still distant. So, I remind myself that it’s still hopeless. But maybe it won’t be in another year or so: There’ll be no more marshmallows for me.

There’s no fixed end game that I hope to reach via substantial weight loss, but already, even with 150ish pounds left to go, I can do far more things more easily and readily than I could last year. Losing weight means becoming a dramatically more functional human being, in any number of ways. Whatever comes after that is uncertain, but — ceteris paribus (I know, I know, ceteris is never paribus) — the range of possibilities will expand in positive ways.

Even though I more or less know what I’m doing this time around, this blog entry still lives up to the “incompetent” designation I began back in 2004, because I haven’t been keeping a systematic record of my progress. When I finally got around to writing all of this down, I realized that the only written record I have of my 2009 weight loss milestones comes from Facebook status updates. I’ve compiled the data I posted there for the past several months into the following table that’s interesting (to me) but still incompetent in its inconsistency of measurement:

I think I feel some sort of analogue to Bastiat’s frustration with the political process:

What a lot of trouble to prove in political economy that two and two make four; and if you succeed in doing so, people cry, “It is so clear that it is boring.” Then they vote as if you had never proved anything at all.

But, you know, replace “two,” “two,” and “four” with “boogers,” “mouth,” and “disgusting,” and “political economy” with “basic norms of polite society.” Oh yeah, and “vote” with “pick their nose and eat it anyway.”

Or something.

All,

MSNBC was here yesterday covering Thanksgiving at Camp Eggers. Here are two clips. Alas! I didn’t make the cut, but I was nearby. :)

This is just a quick note to all my friends and family. First, I wanted to tell you all how proud I am to have such a great support network…namely, you guys! We made our first delivery to the childcare center yesterday morning. It was utter chaos and I’ll have to write down my thoughts about it later. But, there are about 75 more kids in Kabul who have warm clothes, toys and school supplies to last them through the winter because of you.

I’ve led a blessed life. When I reflect back upon my childhood and think about what we had to do without in order to get by, I then think of all the places I’ve seen in this world…China, Bosnia, Afghanistan, Eastern Europe, etc.. and I’m completely and utterly grateful for living where I live and having what I have. There is no place I’ve ever experienced in America (and I’ve seen a lot of it) that can touch the abject destitution that pervades Afghanistan. It’s literally soul-crushing.

I’m not here to tell you what you should be thankful for. We’ve all figured that out throughout our lives. Me? I’m thankful for you guys. You’re the best. You always will be.

Here are some pictures taken over the past couple of days. I don’t have time to caption them all, but most are from the child-care center. The others are from our Thanksgiving celebration here on Camp Eggers.

I hope each and every one of you has a wonderful Thanksgiving. When you all do whatever it is you do on this day, just be sure that you’re good to each other, and know that I’m thinking of you all.

Love always,

This update really has nothing to do with Afghanistan, but I just came across something I felt I had to share.

As most of you know, I’m an aspiring amateur photographer. I make my rounds through the photography blogs, read books, experiment with new ideas, etc… I probably have 10 cameras of varying sizes, formats, quality, etc… back home.

Every once and a while, I come across a picture that actually elicits an emotional response from me. I’ve had this response only a couple of times looking at my own pictures, and I get it occasionally by other people’s pictures as well.

When I saw the following, I literally involuntarily sucked in my breath. A chill went down my back. The only way I can explain the feeling is for you to imagine sitting in a room and hearing the perfect musical chord being played. Imagine that feeling that starts at the base of your head (where the most primitive part of your brain is located) and then radiating down your spine…tingling the entire time. Shallow breaths, surrendering yourself to the feeling…it’s Divine.

http://nicnichols.com/FourCornersDark/?p=3224

I know this picture won’t elicit the same response from everybody, if anybody…but, I thought I’d share a glimpse into what I find moving.

Make sure you click on the link and check out his other photos.

Take care!

There’s a meme* going around on Facebook right now requesting that you pick up your iPod, put it on shuffle and write down the first 15 songs that pop up, regardless of what they are or how embarrassing they may be. I never have my iPod with me unless I’m sitting at work, so I never got around to it. I had a bit of free time today so I thought I’d go for it. Keep in mind that my iPod now holds 3258 songs, with more added per week.

Here are my first 15 songs that popped up on “Shuffle Mode”:

1. Recuerdos De Le Alhambra – Fransisco Tarrega
2. The Killing Moon – Echo and the Bunnymen (From the Donnie Darko Soundtrack)
3. Summertime – Gershwin
4. U-Mass – The Pixies
5. Symphony #3 in D Major, Op. 29 “Polish IV.” – Tchaikovsky
6. Entry of the Gladiators – Julius Fucik
7. Gold Dust Woman – Fleetwood Mac
8. The Aquarium – Saint-Saens
9. 5/4 F.T.D. – Critters Buggin
10. Look at That Old Grizzly Bear – Mark Mothersbaugh (From The Royal Tenenbaums Soundtrack)
11. Joe Stalin’s Cadillac – Camper Van Beethoven
12. Whole Lotta Trouble – Cracker
13. Will the Circle Be Unbroken – The Neville Brothers
14. Sax and Violins – The Talking Heads
15. Halloween Parade – Lou Reed

Not too bad. Number 16, by the way, was Brian Eno’s 2-1 from his Music for Airports album.

*A “meme”, for the benefit of those among you who may be a bit Facebook challenged is, according to Wikipedia: “a postulated unit of cultural ideas, symbols or practices, which can be transmitted from one mind to another through speech, gestures, rituals or other imitable phenomena.”

I have a little under six weeks left here in country. Things are beginning to wind down for me. I’ll start shipping my stuff back home in about two weeks. My replacement will be here in four. I have quite a bit of work to accomplish between then and now, but I’m so set in a routine now that the work hardly phases me. We have a running joke here. Every morning when everyone gets to the office, we say, “Hey! Do you know what day it is?”. “No! What day is it!?”. “It’s Groundhog Day!”.

And so it is. Wake up at the same time. Eat the same food, Do the same work, Go to bed at the same time. I catch myself looking at the date from time to time and thinking, “Is it already the 17th? Wow!”. The days just kind of bleed into each other after a while.

I’ve discovered some new things about myself while here and have reconfirmed others. It’s almost impossible for me to “go along to get along”. It always has been. I tend to call stupid actions, well…stupid. You’d think that after 12 years in the Army, a little tact would have sunk into my head.

I’ve found that I miss the military. I miss the camaraderie, the brotherhood, the irreverent joking, the horse-play, the seriousness of it all.

I’ve found that though I have a tendency to jump into situations I find exciting, I need to make time to be sentimental. In one of the first care packages I received, my daughters included a number of sea-shells they gathered from their recent trip to California. There is one shell fragment, in particular, that is a bit thicker and smoother than the others. It’s about the size of a silver dollar, though not shaped like one. I don’t remember when I did it, but sometime ago I slipped it into my pocket and have been carrying it around ever since. When I change pants, I transfer all the contents of my pockets into the new pair before I send the old pair off to be washed.

Along with the pen I bought before coming out here, that shell has been a consistent and constant companion. I take it out every now and then, place it between my thumb and fore-finger and just hold it, running my thumb over it as you would do with a poker-chip or an old coin. This simple shell…a conglomeration of Conchiolin, Calcite and Calcium…picked up on a beach somewhere in California and then transferred via mail all the way to me in Afghanistan serves as a life-line, a direct link between myself and my daughters.

Sentimental? Sure. But, that’s how it is. When Jordan and Zoe held that shell in their hands, billions of their atoms by way of skin cells, skin moisture, etc… transferred themselves onto its surface. It just as Crosby Stills Nash and Young said, “We are stardust. We are golden”.

Indeed. Ultimately, we are all stardust. Ultimately, we are all the same. 100 billion years from now, the atoms that have now formed to make me will still be part of this great Cosmos. And you, my friends, will all be there with me. That has always given me great comfort.

By the way, The Imperial March from Star Wars just started playing on my iPod. Carl Jung would call that Synchronicity. I simply call it Kick-ass Awesome.

So, another long email down. :) I hope everyone is well and happy.

Buddha taught that “The cessation of suffering is attainable”. The Pixies keep pointing out, “Here comes your man”. Bach gave us “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” and Disco Stu, “Don’t advertise”.

Love you guys!

The closer I get to coming home, the more I blend in…

12:04 PM
me: a bunch of book club people formed a bar trivia team last night… we were the “Mathletes for Liberty”
12:05 PM
J: LOL…sounds like my kind of crowd…though I suck at math
me: no math questions… even so, we only came in third
me: out of like 12 teams, though
12:06 PM
J: Sounds like a lot of fun, actually
12:07 PM
me: it was indeed pretty fun
me: and, somehow, two talking heads songs made it to the jukebox with no help from me
J: LOL, nice!
me: several book club people had no idea who talking heads are… clearly, this calumny cannot stand
12:08 PM
J: WTF!!??
12:09 PM
me: “Blind” from “Naked” came on at a restaurant in asheville nc while we were there, and when i got excited, josh looked puzzled and said, “you know this strange music?”
12:10 PM
me: kids these days…
J: “Get off my lawn!!”
me: yeah
me: get a haircut
J: exactly

Greetings, all!

So, it appears that I’ve been a bit lax about my updates and keeping up with friends and family as I just got chided by both my mother and my sister for not keeping them up to date. Sorry, mom.

This will be a short update. It’s a little crazy here right now. We had an explosion about 10 miles off to our north-east at Camp Phoenix. A number of U.S. military were hurt and several U.S. contractors were killed. We have the national inaguration here next week and there are indications that there could be violence before-hand.

The good news it, I have 45 days left here.

Sorry to cut this short. I just wanted to get this out so everyone knows all is good here.

Talk to you soon!

For the last couple months that Justin has been in Afghanistan, he’s been sending out group email messages to a variety of friends and family, updating everybody about his travels and travails. I suggested a few times that he should post some of them to the blog, because they’re interesting enough to be part of this permanent record, but he never posted anything. When I suggested this again a few days ago, he revealed that he’s had trouble logging in to our blog interface from Kabul, and proposed that I add some of the stuff he’s sent out instead.

So was born the already lengthy and ongoing series “Dispatches From Afghanistan,” which currently has 27 entries. I backdated each of the entries to match the date and time at which he sent out the emails, the first falling on Sept. 4. After I’d finished posting them all, I updated our archive page as well, so even the entries that get pushed off the front page can still be located and read.

As I’ve added all of Justin’s dispatches during the past few days, I’ve found that the addition of his content to the site has once again stoked my own initiative to add to my own side of the blog. So, stay tuned for more — until the next time we go into update hibernation.

I have no personal investment in the issue, which may also be one of the reasons I haven’t bothered to touch on it before. I do have friends with a personal stake, however, as I suspect most people do, so the issue will always affect me tangentially. That’s all beside the point, though — for instance, I don’t take recreational drugs, and regardless of that I’ve been a long-time advocate for drug legalization. Standing up for individual rights should be a matter of principle, and it may well be more important for people to fight for rights they don’t ever plan to use themselves than to protect only their own interests, if for no other reason than to help ensure they don’t succumb to a corrupting bias in otherwise principled ideology. So, for the record, I’m firmly in favor of legalizing all consensual behavior among adults. Whether other individuals throughout society consider any particular behavior to be “moral” is a separate question, a battle that should be waged in the marketplace of ideas in civil society, rather than in legislative chambers.

My own position on gay marriage has actually been on the web for a little more than four years, in the comment section of Tom Palmer’s blog (there are a couple of references to previous comments that don’t fully make sense outside the context of the full thread):

In our perfect little libertarian utopia (as if anyone could agree on what that might be), we certainly might agree on the complete separation of marriage and state as one of the features of this society. And this is indeed the view I once held; I wasn’t interested in arguments for gay marriage because I didn’t think government should be involved in defining or approving marriages at all. And in a perfect world, this would still be my view.

But as we live in a decidedly non-libertarian world, it’s important to take stock of the set of rights and responsibilities that a civil marriage confers on its participants — and to realize that some of these rights and responsibilities *can’t* be contracted for in any form outside of marriage.

Since marriage is the one form of contract that allows for specific sets of rights and responsibilities between two people, it’s fundamentally unjust to withhold that form of contract from a categorical set of willing participants.

If, Aaron G., you think engaging in a homosexual relationship is sinful, that’s your right. And, SPB, if you want to work toward smashing traditional forms of sexual morality, that’s your right too. But the libertarian in both of you should recognize that if someone else wants to take another path in her pursuit of happiness, you should grant her that right as well.

After all, the only thing under consideration is the right to undertake a specific form of interpersonal contract. This shouldn’t be a controversial notion at all.

I ordered a copy of the Qur’an from Amazon about a month ago and have steadily been making my way through it in my free time.

I was struck by the phrase: “…if any one slew a person – unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land – it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.”

Regardless of my views on religion and the death penalty, I understand and respect the poetry of this phrase. It seems to hearken back to the Gospels (the Beatitudes, which are my favorite passages in the bible). Given where I am right now, the phrase is apt. I have had long discussions with my Muslim friends over here regarding it. One particular friend of mine (a translator that accompanies me) is very passionate about this particular verse. He despises the Taliban and everything they stand for. He explained to me that people who carry out suicide attacks do not understand the Qur’an.

And yet, there is a cognitive dissonance at work. A while back, we were in an office waiting for a meeting. A newscast was playing in the background. My friend got very excited and started pumping is arm up and down in the universal “victory” motion and was saying “yes! yes! yes!”. As was a bit puzzled (the newscast was in Dari) and asked him what was up. He told me that a suicide bomber just blew himself up in Pakistan, killing dozens. He said “I hate Pakistan. They have ruined Afghanistan and they are finally getting what they deserve”.

I looked at him for a long moment and quietly said: “If any slew a person, it would be as if he slew the whole people”.

He was very quiet for the next half an hour but finally said, “You are right, my friend”.

Nothing else was spoken about it, but it was then that I realized just how deep and cyclic this violence is. I hope Afghanistan can eventually recover from it. This is a beautiful country, filled with wonderful people.

Another interpreter we work with is an older gentleman who is a U.S. citizen. He is over here on a two year tour and has three children and a wife back home. I asked him yesterday over lunch what his story was.

In 1982, in the middle of the Soviet invasion, he was kidnapped by the Soviets and held in a jail cell for over a year. He was 15 at the time. He said he was beaten and made to work hard labor the entire time. His entire family was finally able to get enough money together to secure his release. His entire family then escaped to Pakistan and were able to get political asylum in the United States. Now he’s back trying to help get the country back on its feet.

I asked him if there was still a lot of animosity in Afghanistan towards the Russians. “Oh, yes”, he said. “But, it’s the British they really hate”.

The British. They occupied the country over one hundred and fifty years ago and they are still hated because of it. More so than the Russians! I found this to be an absolutely fascinating view into the Afghan psyche.

—–

I have also made some observations about my own experience over here. I’ve been to a war-zone before, for a longer period of time and under about the same conditions, so I thought I was absolutely emotionally prepared for this deployment.

When the first car bomb hit after I got here (I was close enough to feel the blast-wave), I felt emotions I haven’t felt in a long time. When I was sitting in the bunker waiting for the all clear to sound, I was chagrined to realize I was actually scared. After the all-clear sounded, I wanted to share that experience with others, but I found that everyone just kind of went on with their business, like nothing happened. Just another day.

When the second car bomb went off (I was close enough again to feel the blast-wave), I just kind of shut down. OK, grab my gear. Load my weapon. Stand by. All clear. Go to lunch.

When the third car bomb went off, my reaction was to sigh. “Really? Again?”

When the explosions and running gun battle was happening outside our perimeter a week and a half ago, I was to the point of just going about my business. like nothing special was going on. When it was over it wasn’t even spoken about. We all just went about our business.

I find it amazing how quickly we adapt and compartmentalize. I understand it’s an effective coping/defense mechanism, but I’m not all entirely sure it’s healthy.

—–

Donations for the child care center are coming in quickly, now. Scott (the Lt. Col) who works with me and I have received about 6 boxes between us so far. All have been filled to the brim with toys, blankets, games, warm clothing, sanitary supplies, etc. I’ll be using some of the monetary donations to get them two space heaters this week. Winter is coming up fast and the cold is a harsh enemy.

Of course, you can all can view pictures of my adventures (as well as pictures of the child care center I’ve adopted) here: www.flickr.com/cosmicslop

—–

Friends, I can’t tell you how much I miss Chipotle. :)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love to all!

Some insanely good pictures taken in Afghanistan over the past 30 days. Number 18 is from the car bomb that tarketed the Indian Embassy here on October 8th. That’s the one I got a picture of while walking to work.

Just wanted to send along a few pictures:

We had our Halloween 5k tonight and had a blast!

The second picture actually has nothing to do with the run, but this is the room where I’ve been staying for the past two months, and will be staying for the next two.

The others are just of me, hamming it up or running.

Happy Halloween everyone!

As many of you know, Halloween is favorite holiday. Though there will be no Trick or Treating here, I will be running my first 5k tonight.

I’ll send pictures. :)

Happy Halloween!

Good morning, all!

Well, after all the chaos I reported yesterday (with the pictures of the explosion/gun fight) and all the bad news that’s been coming out, I thought I’d send you some more upbeat photos from here.

As many of you know, I’m sponsoring a child-care center over here. Some of the pictures below are from a visit I had with them today.

Here’s a short explanation for each photo:

One: Well, that one is rather obvious. I’m sporting a knit cap someone left here from last year. I think it’s rather becoming. :) The scarf is a traditional scarf worn in the Middle East and in Central Asia. It keeps the sun off your neck, the dust out of your mouth and keeps you warm in the winter.

Two: Halloween decorations outside our conex/office

Three: Medals for an awards ceremony that took place here two days ago. A couple of Bronze Stars were awarded.

Four: Me sitting and chatting with the kids at the child-care center

Five: What a great smile!

Six: The Colonel I was with handed out some lollipops. Who doesn’t like lollipops, right?

Seven: I’m treated to an Afghan children’s song.

Packages full of supplies are starting to roll in! We are also working on getting their heating system fixed (estimated at $7,000). But, we are getting help from the chaplain’s office here at Camp Eggers for that. In the mean-time, I’ll be buying two space-heaters for them until that gets up and running.

I hope you all are having a wonderful autumn! I miss you guys. And, don’t fret about the news too much…I’ll keep you all informed.

Love you!

These pictures were taken right from right outside the door of our office. This was the result of the fire-fight at the U.N. house.

OK, I’ve received at least two emails so far, so rather than answering everyone separately, here’s what’s going on…

A U.N. house was attacked directly west of us (about 1/2 a mile away). A running gun battle lasted for about an hour and there were several small explosions (possibly hand grenades). About an hour later, several rockets or mortars were fired from the south landing in an unknown locations..but we could hear the resulting explosions.

So far, everyone is safe. We are on lock-down and sitting in our offices.

I’ll keep everyone updated.

I have a few pictures I’ll be sending out in a bit.

Hello, friends and family;

I suppose it happens to everyone that deploys but yesterday I just kind of hit an emotional brick wall. I don’t know if it’s the long hours or what’s going on over here, but things just were not “clicking” for me. I miss my daughters. I miss my apartment. I miss Joe’s Crab Shack. I just….miss. Thankfully, a bunch of you rallied and responded to my request for emails from Facebook. That made me feel a lot better. Thank you!

A little about what is going on here: We are headed into a recount of the national election that took place in August. The recount will happen on November 7th. There is already a lot of tension surrounding the subject, but thankfully there hasn’t been a notable rise in violence. As we get closer to the date, we’ll see how everything falls into place.

Today was the second worst day for casualties for coalition forces here in Afghanistan. 14 U.S. soldiers and a number of other coalition members died in three separate helicopter crashes across the country today. The detail still aren’t clear but we know that one helicopter went down supporting a mission in the north and two others collided in the south.

It gets kind of hard to walk past the flagpoles here on base only to see at least one of them at half staff. The two that are usually down are the Afghan and U.S. flags.

There have been pretty big but thankfully rather non-violent protests here in Kabul for the past two days. The protests erupted around rumors that a U.S. soldier burned the Koran on a recent mission. I can assure you that it never happened. Any soldier caught doing such a thing would be out of the Army and possibly in jail in very quick order. Intel suggests that the Taliban started the rumor to create anti-American sentiment before the elections.

Today as I was walking to chow I saw about four or five hundred boxes with tens of soldiers swarming over them in the road way. The boxes were filled to the brim with care packages sent from people stateside…not for the soldiers themselves but for the children in Kabul city. Once a month, volunteers go out and distribute these supplies either directly to the kids or to the schools they belong to. I saw box after box filled with winter clothes, toys, games, etc… Imagine lining up for a convoy brief in order to go out into the city to distribute all this cool stuff. A typical convoy brief includes what you should do if you’re engaged by the enemy. What you should do if your vehicle is hit by an IED. What frequency you should call if you need to request a medivac. These convoys go on for 20 or 30 minutes, filled with this stuff. But still, people volunteer to go out and bring a little joy and warmth to children out in the city. Not to alarm anyone, but I’m volunteering for the next excursion out.

And, that’s why it can be so frustrating at times. You can actually see people risking their lives to distribute clothes and toys. It’s tangible. It’s reality. But, people that should know better (university students) fiercely protest a rumor that is so easily disproven.

Not that I’m against protests…but, you know…

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t one of those “I can’t believe how ungrateful these people are” emails. I have made some wonderful Afghan friends over here and my thoughts immediately go to them whenever something happens in the city. I always hope they and their family are OK. I really do like it over here. The culture is fascinating and the people are some of the most generous and friendly you will ever meet…anywhere.

I just wish all this violence would stop. I’m not being overly naive by saying that. The people here deserve peace and prosperity, at long last.

Anyway, that’s about it from here, for now.

Again…thank you for keeping me in your thoughts!

Hello, everybody!

Well, I thought it would be nice to send out an update where-in no explosions or earthquakes or elephant stampedes were involved.

I received the first package the other day for the day care center (thanks, Emily!), and I’ve been told many more are on the way. Also, my sister was able to wrangle up about $80 so I’ll be using that to buy rice and cooking oil. We’re still in need of funds for a couple of space heaters and perhaps some blankets.

I really just want to thank everyone for taking this project and collectively making their own. I have a lot of mixed feelings about what we’re doing over here, but projects like these can do nothing but help.

My daughters sent me over a Sock Monkey a couple of weeks ago and asked me to give it to the kids over at the center. I walked it over last week and you can’t imagine how much joy just that little stuffed animal brought everyone.

Also, I thought I might share a couple of things I’ve learned in Afghanistan, so far:

1. I look absolutely ridiculous with a beard…but, holy cow does it keep my face warm
2. Your whole world view changes after a nice, long, hot shower
3. It’s easier to eat junk food here than back at home
4. It’s unbelievable how fast you get used to 14 hour days/7 days a week
5. You never stop missing your family

I hope everyone is doing well! I love getting your emails. Even though I’m busy enough to keep my mind off of things, it’s amazing how much an email lifts the spirits.

Have a great weekend!

So, there I was, sleeping soundly in my bunk…not a care in the world (save the 30 degree temperature, for which I finally donned my pair of uber sweet synthetic long johns…but that’s a different story). Around 1am, my bed started to shake and squeak pretty violently. This is usually due to someone trying to navigate their way up to the top bunk. Since the bed above me has been blissfully empty for the past couple of weeks, I slowly came out of a deep sleep with this dismaying thought in mind. But, as I looked around in the semi-dark, I could not make out any appendages or torsos flailing around.

Then, I noticed that every other bunk (all 24 of them) were making the same squeaking sound. My first thought was an explosion of some type. But, there was not a sound aside from the beds squeaking and an occasional “What the fu%&” made from some of my room mates. Then it hit me. We were having an earthquake, and a rather sustained one at that.

A few of us got up (many slept right through it) and made our way to the hallway where still more people were up, groggily looking around. After we had all confirmed amongst our selves that it was, indeed, an earthquake, we turned around and went back to bed.

Well, physically, anyway. I could not fall back asleep for the next two hours. Luckily I had the Internet at my beck and call. I quickly updated my Facebook page and went looking for information. The USGS website had information up within minutes. We had just experienced a 6.2 earthquake. The center of it was about 200 km off to the northeast. The epicenter was located about 200 miles below ground, so much of the energy had dissipated before it leveled. After checking the news, there appears to be no significant damage done and no fatalities reported. Just another day in Afghanistan.

Oh, apparently we are sitting upon one of the most massive fault lines in the world. I’ve been told that if it were to go, pretty much all of Afghanistan and half of Pakistan would be devastated.

I really, really miss St. Louis right about now.

Hope everyone is well!

If anyone is interested, here’s an amazing account of the battle that happened north of here about a week ago.

As an update to yesterday’s email, the car bomb was targeting the Indian Embassy about a mile and a half away from here. In the sense that it was targeting the embassy, it wasn’t successful as no Indian nationals were killed or wounded. The attack did kill and wound nearly a hundred Afghan nationals, however. At the center of our base, we have a row of flag poles with a flag for each country that is represented in Afghanistan. The Afghan flag is at half staff nearly every day, followed by the American and British flags.

You may or may not see this in the news (depending on if you keep up with such things) :P

We had another explosion here this morning. This time I was actually off base walking to my office when it happened. From what I’ve been able to gather, it was about a mile or two away. We turned around and headed back to base, but I got this picture first.

We’re still not sure what the scope of the bombing is yet or the number of casualties. It appears as though it was targeting the Ministry of the Interior. I’ll know more later. Right now we are on lock down.

I hope everyone is well. I don’t want to freak anyone out by sending out these emails but I just wanted to let everyone know that I’m OK.

Love you guys!

Greetings, all!

Today I took a trip up to Bala Hissar, an ancient fort overlooking Kabul. The fort is most famous for the slaughter of British Troops there during the Second Afghan War. It has also been used as a Soviet and Talaban strong-hold.

This was my first trip outside the Green-Zone, so it was a little hairy. We traveled up there to do an inventory of a map depot but we got to get out and walk around a bit afterwards. I’ve included pictures. The place is literally littered with burnt out husks of old Soviet hardware (T-64s, BMPs, BRPMs and artillary pieces). It’s pretty fascinating.

I’ll try to upload as many pictures as I can to my Flickr site as the week goes on.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone again for their response to my request for assistance for the childcare center here. So far people are sending clothes, school supplies, money and personal items. Thank you!

I just couldn’t resist. I had to have a piece of Afghan bread. Over here they serve a piece of bread (called Nan) with each meal; the meal consisting of mostly rice, potatoes or stewed vegetables. Let me tell you, that bread was d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s!

And, after eating it, I had no ill effects! Could I have gotten over my gluten/wheat allergy?

So, the next day, I had another yummy piece of Nan. Mmmmmm mmmmm! Again, no ill effects. Awesome!

So, the next day…yet another piece.

Big mistake.

I guess it the effects take a while to accumulate because I’m having the worst stomach cramps I have ever had in my life. Most of other symptoms I had before I went off wheat a year ago are showing up, too. Really bad heart-burn, muscle pain, pain in my side, etc…

Note to self. Nan might be delicious but it is utter and pure poison. :P

I hope everyone else is doing great!

Ok, ok…

So, I got the finalized list from the school here. This is what they are requesting: (I’m adding only things that weren’t in the two previous emails)

• An old computer
• Dry erase/chalk boards (small ones)
• Geometric blocks (circles, triangles, rectangles, etc…)
• Kid’s Magazines
• Musical Instruments (How much do those cheap, plastic recorders cost back in the states)?

I’ve already heard back from some of you. There has been a donation of 200 boxes of crayons and some backpacks (thank you, Tiffany). Also, I got an IM from my sister about cash donations. Cash can either be sent to me via mail or by paypal. My paypal address is cosmicslop2006@gmail.com Cash will be used to buy electric space heaters, cooking oil, rice, beans, paint and building materials.

As you all know, winter is arriving and the kids will be in need of warm clothing (jackets, scarves, hats, mittens, gloves, boots, etc…). Second hand and hand me down clothing is perfect.

And, please don’t feel as if you need to confine yourself to any of these lists. Anything will help.

Again, thank you so much for your emails asking how to help. This really is a good thing we are doing.

If you haven’t seen the pictures of the childcare center yet, you can find them here: www.flickr.com/cosmicslop

Keep in touch!

Heya, everybody!

So, just a quick update on what’s happening. In my previous two emails (I’m writing this for the benefit of a couple of people who were not included in those emails), I mentioned the childcare center located on the campus of where I’m working here in Kabul. (For pictures, see www.flickr.com/cosmicslop).

I got a finalized list from the school mistress of the supplies they are requesting.

For the teachers: Basic hygiene supplies (Shampoo, creams, soap, etc)…

For the students: Basic school supplies. (Pens and pencils are a much needed commodity here). Notebooks, paper, drawing paper, etc…

I also mentioned several things they need for their classrooms: Linen (you can see the beds they have in the pictures I took). Pillows, towels, washcloths, etc…

If anyone feels so inclined to send money (American is fine, I can exchange it here), I can purchase some other things that would be cheaper to buy here. Some of those items are:

• Fans for the class room
• Space heaters
• Paint to paint their walls
• Cooking Oil
• Rice and other foods
• Carpets

And, of course, there are the bigger projects like rebuilding the classroom that was destroyed by mortar fire several years ago.

Since winter is coming up, winter clothes would be much appreciated. Gloves, mittens, boots, warm socks, hats, etc…

I have three months left in country. Anything you can send would be greatly appreciated. From what I can tell, these kids are well loved and taken care of to the best of the teacher’s abilities, but they really are lacking even the most basic supplies.

Here is my address here:

Justin M. Stoddard
CSTC-A CJ2
APO AE 09356

In other news. I was sitting down at our training facility today (about a mile outside of base) when I heard a very loud BOOM. Everyone jumped up and I immediately threw on my body armor, helmet and chambered a round in my side arm. I tried to call back to base but I wasn’t getting any answers. I sat there for about ten minutes before I got my interpreter and we walked out to the guards (Afghan National Army) and asked them what happened. Apparently, someone overfilled a tire on his car and the tire exploded, making the BOOM. So, yeah, everyone was pretty much laughing at me. :)

I hope everyone is well and I always look forward to your emails!

Friends! Romans! Countrymen!

OK, a bit dramatic….

Hello, all! I wanted to give everyone an update about what’s going on over here. As you may remember, I sent out an email about a week ago talking about the childcare center located on the campus where I work. The response has been nearly overwhelming and heartfelt. Thank you!

I had a very nice meeting with the lady who runs the center today. We sat and talked for about a 1/2 an hour over tea and cookies. I told her that I had many friends and family who were eager to help. I’m going to be getting a list of specifics tomorrow, but here is what I can tell you:

Some of the items needed:

• Basic School Supplies: such as pens, pencils, paper, notebooks, crayons, paint, drawing paper, coloring books, glue, scissors, notebooks and the like
• Toys: Dolls, building blocks, Lego’s, toy cars, stuffed animals, etc…
• Clothes: These children are from 4 months to 11 years old. (Most of them are around 4 or 5). Girl’s clothing should be modest in color and design
• Donations: They are in dire need of at least 4 space heaters for their classrooms. I’d have to buy the heaters on the economy here as the electricity requirements are not the same. Any amount of money would be appreciated.
• Bigger projects: I was shown one of their classrooms that took a direct hit from a mortar a few years ago. It needs to be completely rebuilt. I have no idea how to go about this, but I imagine if I can collect donations or solicit donations from companies or organizations in the states, we could buy the marterials needed here. There are plenty of people where I’m stationed who would love to help build such a place, so labor would not be a problem either.

I’ve uploaded a few pictures of the child care center here: www.flickr.com/cosmicslop I have more, but it’s taking me forever to get them uploaded. Check back from time to time to see what’s new. You’re able to tell by the pictures what they have and what they are lacking.

Onto other things…I taught the students at our training center (the people we are teaching to make maps, do surveys, etc…) how to play hangman and “rock, paper, scissors” today. They were confused as hell about “rock, paper, scissors” but they had fun playing it. Hangman was a real hit. I ended up giving them a 20 minute lecture on letter frequency in the English Language and that in turn turned into a discussion about just how illogical the English Language is.

All is good here. I’m eating well and am getting plenty of exercise. :)

I hope all is well with everyone out there!

I miss you guys!

Hi, all!
A number of you have asked me if I’d like some care packages while I’m over here. I can’t tell you what it means to me to be remembered and in all of your thoughts. I sincerely thank you.

The truth is, there’s not a lot I really need. We have a PX here and there is more than enough food. But, if you’ll stick with me for a moment, I have a proposal for you all.

On the campus where I work is a run down child-care center. At any given time, there are about 20 children there ranging from infants to 6 or 7 year-olds. Though the place is well run with a dedicated and loving staff, they don’t have even the basic necessities needed to run the place.

So, in lieu of any care packages for myself, I would like to solicit donations for this child care center. I have an appointment with the staff on Wednesday to find out what kind of things they need, but I suspect basic school supplies would be a huge part of it (crayons, paper, paint, scissors, markers, etc…). I suspect that clothing may also be needed, but I’ll find that out on Wednesday.

And, if you’d like to throw in a Snickers bar or two for me, well, that would be just swell. :)

A couple of you have also asked what, exactly, I’m doing out here. Well, I am a mentor to the people at the Afghanistan Geodesy and Cartography Head Office, which is the mapping agency for all of Afghanistan. Some of the projects I’m involved in are Geodetic Sciences, Gravitational Metering, Grids and Projections, Map Production, Training on how to use GIS software such as ARC and ERDAS, deciphering Survey Data, etc… I know, it all sounds dull and boring, but it’s an extremely rewarding job and I’m thankful for the opportunity to come out here in order to offer a bit of stability to an otherwise torn country.

Well, that’s about it, for now. Please let me know if you’d like to donate to the child care center here. It would mean a lot to me.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

So, here are a few pictures. It took me almost 5 hours to upload just 10 pictures! These were all taken with my little point and shoot, so nothing great…

www.flickr.com/cosmicslop

or you can view them this way:

http://flickriver.com/photos/cosmicslop/

Have a great weekend!

I have kind of an amusing story.

They have a Green Bean coffee shop here on base. You can go in, 24 hours a day, and grab a coffee, latte, mocha, tea, etc. It’s kind of a poor man’s Starbucks, if you will. But, still, it’s a nice place to have.

Anyway, I was standing in line waiting on a tea when a soldier in front of me ordered a Mocha. The lady behind the counter was (very apologetically) told him that they were out of milk for the Mochas and they weren’t expecting a restock for two days. The soldier in front of me became visibly agitated and asked “why is it so Godda%^ hard to get some $##& milk around here” and stormed out.

This just really, really amused me. We’re in the middle of Afghanistan, for God’s sake, with a deadly insurgency springing up all around us and this guy got pissed because he couldn’t have a Mocha.

I wonder what a WWII vet would have thought if he had seen that. :)

In other news, they just cancelled all 4 day passes for military and DOD Civilians in Afghanistan. I guess things are heating up a little over here.

Be well!

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the emails and good wishes. I know I’ve been terrible about staying in contact with friends and family in the past, but I’m attempting to do better.

I wanted to let everyone know that I got an Internet connection in my room here, now. And, it only cost me $100 per month! I’m not sure if that’s cheap or expensive in Afghanistan standards. Anyway, you should see me online a bit more, now as I’m generally in my room if I’m not at work or at the gym. After a 15 hour work day, all I want to do is crawl up in my bunk and rest. Since I share a room with 24 other people, you all can imagine how difficult that might be, what with all the bodily noises emanating all night long.

So, anyway, if you’d like to catch me on Skype or Yahoo, please feel free. I’ll leave them on so if I’m not there, you can leave a message.

Yahoo messenger: cosmicslop2008
Skype: justin_stoddard

Not much else has been going on since my last update. I ran 5 miles yesterday. I’m thinking I may want to do a marathon sometime after I get back. I should probably do one of those before I get too old. :P

I’ll try to get some pictures out tonight.

Talk to you all soon!

I guess it’s been a bit since I’ve sent out a missive.

Here’s a side note: I was going to use the word “awhile” in that previous sentence but I always get confused as to what form to use; eg. “awhile” vs. “a while”. A search on Google only confuses the matter. If you use “awhile”, it means “for a period of time”; as in, “I’ll wait here awhile”. The “for” is implied. “A while” means “a period of time” and the word “for” must be used in the sentence. For example, “I’ll wait here for a while”.

So, unless anyone can correct me (Eric?), I’m assuming that first sentence would be incorrect using either variation. I wouldn’t say, “I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve sent out a missive”, because the implied “for” makes no sense. Likewise, I wouldn’t say, “I guess it’s been for a while since I’ve sent out a missive”. So, I’ll settle for “a bit”, I suppose, until I can think of something better.

Seriously, I agonize over these little pieces of minutia. It’s my cross to bear. Damn you, OCD.

Anyway, onto the subject of the email:

I’ve had the good fortune in my life to visit a hell of a lot of places. I’ve lived on two continents, have a working knowledge of two languages and am always fascinated by other cultures, whether it’s in the States or abroad. Through out my travels, I have come to rest on a couple, tried and true, simple axioms.

1. Learn a few words of the local language and use them liberally. “Hello”, “please”, “thank you”, “how are you?”, “I’m fine” and “good bye” are a good start. You will not believe how far these phrases will get you if said in a respectful, genuine manner. I have learned, over and over again, that people generally love Americans, especially when they take the time to learn a bit of their culture and language.
2. Be deferential when needed. This isn’t America. You’re not likely to get your way by shouting at and abusing those in authority. If you need to get an important point across, find someone who can help you translate and be earnest, firm and very polite. Use honorary terms if needed: “Sir” and “Ma’am”.
3. If you find yourself in a “situation” with the authorities, play stupid. Here’s an example: When I was traveling China about 10 years ago with a friend of mine, we were walking past the U.S. Embassy in Beijing. This was about 2 weeks after the United States accidentally bombed the Chinese Embassy in Serbia. About a week prior to our visit, the Chinese authorities allowed a controlled demonstration at the embassy where students threw rocks and paint at the building. Several windows were broken out and the outside of the building was damaged and discolored. I don’t know why, but I felt I had to get a picture. As soon as I snapped the photo, about 25 People’s Armed Police came out of the wood-work and completely surrounded us. They kept shouting, “That is forbidden!”, and “Give me your camera!”. My friend and I knew perfectly well what they were saying because, well, we speak Chinese. But, in this case, we acted completely dumb. I tucked the camera under my arm and kept saying, “What?” and “I’m an American”, and “I don’t understand” in English. This went on for about 10 minutes until they finally got tired of us and shooed us away.
4. Pack extra socks.
5. Be prepared to wash your clothes in the bathtub and either hang-dry them or to use a blow dryer.
6. Get out of your hotel! I can’t believe how many people travel just to sit at the hotel pool.
7. Never take the guided tour, if you can help it. Sure, there are cases where you’ll have to, but if you’re able, separate yourself from the group and go explore on your own. This may be the introvert talking in me, but I can’t stand pat tours with a large group of people. I find that they are usually dumbed down and you don’t get to see the really interesting parts. If you find yourself exploring an area where you’re no supposed to be (this rarely happens), again, feign ignorance, apologize and be on your way.
8. Take pictures! I’m biased. I love to take pictures. But, I often find myself looking at them later and reliving my adventures.
9. After the trip is over, buy a book about the history of where you just visited. Whenever I find something interesting, I always seek out an expert and ask this one simple question; “If I were to go to the book store right now and could only purchase one book, what should it be?”. I ask that question all the time. I’ve rarely been disappointed.
10. Carry a small pocket notebook and a pen with you. I have a terrible memory and it helps to write things down that interest me.

That’s about it. 10 simple axioms to live by.

On a side note, everything is going swimmingly here in Afghanistan. I have a young guy down at my other office who sits down with me for about an hour a day to teach me Dari. I’m to the point where the Arabic script doesn’t look like a bunch of scribbling anymore. In fact, I can actually read a few words. I don’t know that I’ll ever be proficient, but I’d like to at least be conversant before I leave.

Today I took my drivers test for Afghanistan so I can drive in country. The roads here are a mess and it feels like you’re off-roading all the time. We have huge, unwieldy “up-armored” vehicles (bullet and small explosion proof). They are hell to drive, but that’s one more experience under my belt.

I’m two weeks into a 16 week deployment. 14 weeks to go!

I hope everyone is doing well. I really enjoy getting every one’s emails and I look forward to seeing you all again when I get home.

Be good to each other!

Since it’s my birthday today, I asked several people (independent of each other) to guess my age. The range was 28-33 years old. Since I turn 38 today, I guess I’m aging gracefully. Either that, or I don’t act my age. :)

Hope everyone is doing well. It’s a beautiful day in Afghanistan. 80 degrees, sunny and no explosions!

I’ve gotten a few emails asking if I’m OK after this morning’s bombing attack. I’m fine. The attack happened about 5 miles from here at the Kabul International Airport (where I flew in about a week ago). The person I replaced missed it by about 15 minutes on his way out.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know I’m fine. Hope everyone had a wonderful Labor Day. We had grilled steak and crab legs. :)

Greetings from Kabul!

I’m not sure if all of you are willing to be spammed by my periodic updates, so let me know if you want off the mailing list. :)

Life is good so far in Afghanistan. I’m one week down in my 16 week deployment. It’s actually been very productive so far. Today I held meetings with the president of the Afghan Geodesy and Cartography Head Office to discuss how we want our partnership to proceed. Everyone is incredibly friendly here. I’m even picking up a fair amount of Persian. I can say Hello, Goodbye, Thank you, How are you? I am fine, excuse me, etc… I hope to be able to be conversational on a rudimentary level before I leave.

It’s actually very peaceful where I’m at. Though a lot of bad things are going down in other parts of the country, I haven’t heard any sign of the war that’s going on around us. When I was in Bosnia in 1996, we went to sleep to machine gun fire almost every night. That’s not to say we’re not being careful around here. We’ve all been issued body armor and weapons.

So far I’ve been working 14-15 hour days with an hour break to go to the gym. I’m hoping to participate in a 10k run when I get back state-side.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I’d love to hear from everyone, if you have the time.

Talk to you soon!