The J-Walk Blog is having a spam poetry contest (not poetry about the congealed luncheon meat, alas, which always has a special place in my heart), and whadda you know — I’m one of the three finalists. The blog’s readers are currently voting for the winner.
The idea is to look through your spam and use the subject lines “to create a poem of any length.” In my case, since I hold on to all my email trash for at least a month, I had literally thousands of spam subject lines available. And what with spammers using random text in their subject lines these days (such as “Re: JHKMMC, even by moonlight”), I had a wide range of lyrical possibilities available. I ended up constructing a 105-line poem (not including the title, also a spam subject line) by copying and pasting directly from the subject lines of 106 separate spam emails, picking from the thousands I received from December 13, 2003, through January 14, 2004. Although I usually copied only a portion of each subject line for use as a line in the poem, they are still direct quotes. I saved all the pieces of spam used in constructing the poem to a text file, for posterity’s sake
Now, I’m not asking you to vote for me, or anything — I really like the second poem, too, whose author actually managed to construct several limerick stanzas out of spam subjects — but I’ve posted my poem below, since I’m pretty fond of it. If you want to vote for one of the three finalists, you can do so here.
even by moonlight
There is no substitute for a good night
with clawed fingers
in your Sleep
I’m in your neighborhood
dark cerise background
wandering in wild
moonlight to find
the street lights
eyeless golden statues
splashing barefoot through
torrents of rain
quickly from home…
Sleepless Nights
Here Without Any
reasonable or respectable option
Knock knock
Hello there!
Remember me?
i just arrived
Lookie here, lookie here, she’s back
How are you, sweetie?
he was already
agitated and anticipating
familiarizing himself with
the tight embrace
Is this what you wanted
began to murmur
the whisper unclean
This is what she wants
Hey, this is real
cracked voice responded
painfully and added
need some help?
help her
help her
he wanted to
said he would
and began speaking
this will help you
He said I was a
schizophrenic but also
a moment later
burst out ringing
unconstrained merriment held
warm during the
moonlight so long
so we walked
back and forth
then he splashed
in the water as
he flew away
I know he likes me
Massive giant
large and in charge
he went down
plodded no farther
immediately spun away
suddenly interrupted himself
turned and frowned
shielding himself with
the steady humming
he must have
tried too hard
to save himself
one hour passed
with a chill
there’s still time
the silence lasted
began to burn
with what seemed
unbearably loud jazz
willingly
i drink your
years of experience
inflamed and frightened
gaining control over
the danger threatening
by the time I was finished, it was daylight
I wake up feeling amazing
Just in time for the
embarrassing questions
What are you doing
i have been
regarding your advice
I couldn’t believe
the first thing
you unwittingly spoke
Don’t wait
don’t trust
Don’t Disclose
your real potential
when you can’t get it
understand nothing except
a similar dialogue
utopian talk might
guarantee you that
Passion should last forever
wow, what a deal
Who would have thought
You wont believe that!
your basic error
Seeing is believing
life without
the American Dream
I think we should try again
