My two daughters are Republicans. I would hang my head down in shame if they knew any better. The fact of the matter is, they don’t. Their ages (4 and 2) preclude that.
So, how do I know they are Republicans? Well, by observing their play habits, of course.
Now, my older daughter is what I like to call a “Compassionate Conservative”. If her sister is playing with a toy she wants, she’ll do everything in her power to convince her that she would actually be better off without said toy. Here are a couple of honest to G-d quotes I’ve heard coming out of her mouth:
“Zoe, let me hold onto this so you don’t lose it. You don’t want to lose it do you?”
“Zoe, why don’t you give me that toy. If you do, I’ll give you this nice piece of paper.”
“Zoe, if you don’t give me that toy, I’ll never play with you again!”
“Zoe, if you love me, you would give me that toy.”
Now, make no mistake, she’s gonna get that toy one way or the other. If negotiations don’t work (and they rarely do), she has no compulsion against just taking the thing by force.
When Zoe petitions us for a full redress of grievances, we find Jordan’s justifications sorely lacking:
“But, She wouldn’t give it to me!”
or:
“But, I wanted it!”
Now Zoe, well, Zoe is a died-in-the-wool Neo-Conservative. She cares not one bit about alliances, negotiations or the rule of law. Her world is just one big, hegemonic dreamscape.
If Jordan has a toy she wants, Zoe just takes it. No rationalization, no calculated escalation, just a brutal, full frontal attack. If Jordan does not immediately acquiesce, the attempted robbery becomes a violent mugging.
If Jordan is lucky, we are close enough to intervene. If not, a full scale brawl ensues from which the outcome is never certain.
Now, as parents, it is our job to teach them that their Republican ways will only lead to ruin. Though advanced political theory are still beyond their reach, they are beginning to understand that the libertarian concept of “no initiation of force” is the best way to go.
I have a good feeling that, in time, this principle will become a guiding force in their lives.
Now, wouldn’t it be nice if Republicans (and Democrats that act in the same manner) were able to grow out of their awkward, internationalist adolescence?
